The Alchemy of Menopause

I had the privilege of talking with Dr Beatriz Martini recently on her YouTube channel. You can view the conversation here if you like. I’ll add the video in below too.  It inspired this post today because this wonderful woman and I spent the better part of an hour discussing the personal and spiritual journey of menopause. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot, not just the self-realisatory aspect of menopause but also a couple of other things: 

1. The ups and downs of perimenopause may be our awakening; paving the way to the next and better version of ourselves. So rather than rejecting it let’s embrace it! Perimenopause may be challenging, scary, stressful and it may push us to our limits…. it’s the heroine’s journey afterall. I mean the real heroine, not the pretty, sexualised, scantily-clad ‘heroine’ that we see in movies. It’s the woman who sees herself, knows her worth and doesn’t let others dictate what her special gifts are to the world. She shows up for herself. We need perimenopause to get us ready to step into being that version of ourselves.
2. What makes todays generation of menopausal women dstinct from the women of the generations before us? What qualities are we bringing to this experience? Could it be the generation we were born into that’s shaped the way we approach life, challenge, work and personal development? Many GenX and Millenial women will resonate with me here because we weren’t helicopter-parented, we were emboldened by freedom and autonomy to get out there in the world and get things done. And also, we seem to never stop doing – which is arguably not so great. However…. we can use our self-directing ‘superpowers’ in our menopause transition. 

I’ll share a little of my thoughts around generational powers of today’s midlife women, and then circle back to the first point about perimenopause and it’s role in getting us ready for menopause. 

The power of GenX and Millenial women

Many of us currently navigating midlife were born into a generation that might have been the most independent since young, professionally motivated, hard-working group of women – Gen X and Millenials. It’s no surprise that menopause and perimenopause are hot topics in media and research right now. Women (and I speak mostly from a Western experience here) are not happy about the lack of attention this important transition process has been afforded in previous generations. So many women are speaking out, writing books, driving FemTech innovations and you don’t have to look far for products pitched to midlife women to (naturally or pharmaceutically) treat the symptoms of menopause. It feels like everyone’s talking about perimenopause particularly. And its our generation, under the wise counsel of our elders, that are jumping into driving these discussions, debates and innovations.

It would be folly to think that women have only just realised how challenging menopause is. You’ve only to look at the works of researchers like Jerrilynn Prior, or the works of authors like Sharon Blackie to see that the wisdom has been there all along but I think it’s being seen and heard now like never before. This might have something to do with the generation of women currently in midlife.

Research suggests that Gen X and Millenial generations of women are most likely to be stressed in the 40s and 50s, hard on ourselves, take on too much, people please, more likely to push ourselves and cause inevitable wear and tear on our bodies. I know it’s a generalisation, not every woman in midlife will relate to these qualities. I kind of hope not! I think a good proportion will though. I certainly do. 

Here’s the thing though. When it comes to preparing for a profoundly dramatic change in the way we eat, sleep, function, feel, look, learn and engage with our selves, we’re going to be need some of that unwavering work ethic. We’re going to need to be strong enough to actively direct our own health decision-making. We’re going to need to have a voice and speak up for our needs. We’re going to need autonomy, intelligence and self-knowledge, and you may not realise it, but as a midlife woman you’ve been cultivating those qualities all the way through the 90s, 2000s and beyond. You’re well equipped for perimenopause! 

The dangers of medicalising perimenopause

Something that I’ve noticed with the way perimenopause is depicted in media is the obession with ‘symptoms’. And there’s a ‘this medicine for that symptom’ theme emerging. It’s happening in natural medicine too, this herb or this herbal product for hot flashes, this one for weight gain, this one for fatigue… There’s no debating there are symptoms that frankly, nobody wants. Heavy menstruation, headaches, insomnia, irritability, dry vagina, bloating, constant hunger…No thanks! But have we come to over-identify with the symptoms of perimenopause and skipped past the concept of a ‘natural change’ completely? It’s not healthy to start medicalising our perimenopause experience.

Some of these symptoms (and perhaps most of them) exist to alert us to unhealthy habits or imbalances in our bodies. Some are distress signals that our highly sensitive and attuned hormone systems are sending us to make us aware that we might need to sleep more, eat better, exercise better, be kinder to ourselves and make other changes to improve our health and wellbeing and get back into balance. The more we think about perimenopause as a collection of symptoms, the more disconnected we get from the messages our bodies are trying to send us. So while some symptoms can be medicinally managed (like sleep disturbance, menstrual irregularities and hot flashes and night sweats), others might need compassion, self-care and self-attunement (like irritability, depression, chronic fatigue). Menopause (and perimenopause) are natural life phases, they’re not diseases.